Dependence Day

Excerpt from Daily Cures, Wisdom for Healthy Aging by Connie Mason Michaelis

How about a dependence day?

Yes, you read it right, “Dependence Day.” What would a special day of celebration for dependence look like?  Americans are fiercely attached to the concept of independence.  Our standard vocabulary is full of lusty words like freedom, liberty, autonomy, and sovereignty. In the broadest societal view, our culture is all about being independent at almost any cost. In our personal lives, we want to live with as few strings attached as possible. We want our children to grow up to be independent and self-sufficient. We applaud young adults who have become successful, autonomous individuals. When my kids could finally pay their own car insurance, I knew they were successfully launched from the nest!  But is there a time when we might pause to celebrate dependence?

 The delicate topic of needing help is treated as a massive failure among older adults.  Many seniors would never admit that they are not able to take care of themselves.  When you spend your life taking care of others, it’s hard to accept the role reversal. But when independence becomes stubbornness, the consequences can be dire.  Children are sometimes desperate to provide support, but their parents are too proud to accept it.  The alternative plan of living in a community allows for an independent lifestyle where you can depend on getting help at any time of the day or night! The security of having someone to call, who is just a few steps away, reduces stress and fear. We like to think of caregiving as an opportunity to honor and appreciate our elders by giving them the loving support they need. We should consider a day that celebrates dependence; a celebration of acceptance, receptivity, and rest.