The Need to be Needed

Excerpt from Daily Cures, Wisdom for Healthy Living by Connie Mason Michaelis

It is one thing to say, “I love you,” as a matter of fact, it can be stated very casually, but what if someone says, “I need you?”  That expression can be deeply meaningful.  On one side, the person expressing their need shows a particular vulnerability, and on the other hand, it gives someone else a sense of purpose.  The appeal of volunteerism is based on this powerful emotion.  No matter your age, it is important to feel needed.  Nothing thrills me more than having one of my children call and ask me how to cook something or ask for some advice.  It still makes me feel needed as their mom.

As we grow older and less active, we may fall into the trap of thinking we are no longer needed.  Our culture is so fixated on productivity; it’s challenging to feel useful when you have retired and raised your kids and grandkids. Yes, you may need to clean the house or take out the trash, but that is not the same as being needed by another person. It is the human connection that is necessary.  Raj Raghunathan, Ph.D., says, “We know that the desire to love and care for others is hard-wired and deep-seated because fulfillment of this desire enhances our happiness levels. In other words, expressing love or compassion for others benefits not just the recipient of affection, but also its perpetrator.” Whether through volunteer work or assisting your neighbor, it is always important to be needed. Just because you are 80 or 90 years old, you have a great deal to offer to others.

“Everyone has an invisible sign around their neck that says, make me feel important.”  Mary Kay Ash