Drinking Coffee

Excerpt from Daily Cures, Wisdom for Healthy Aging by Connie Mason Michaelis

When I was out of college and a young stay-at-home mom, my mother-in-law gave me some sage advice about drinking coffee. It really wasn’t about the coffee; it was about becoming integrated into my new community with friends and neighbors. She told me that drinking coffee was a primary reason to get together and visit---thus the Coffee Klatch. She suggested I learn to drink it black. It would have no calories, and I wouldn’t need to bother the hostess with a sugar bowl or creamer.  I can’t imagine the hours I’ve spent discussing the kids, the world, God, et al. over a cup of java (black of course).  These days, kids learn to drink fancy coffee drinks in junior high school, but for my generation, it was a life passage into adulthood and was a part of bonding with other adults.

Sociologists say that one of the difficult things about aging in place (meaning in the same house and neighborhood that you’ve lived in for 50 years) is that literally, there is no one to have coffee with.  When you are the oldest person on your block, everyone is gone during the day. Parents are at work, and kids are in school. If you are widowed, the situation becomes magnified. Coffee drinking becomes a metaphor for loneliness. I’m thinking outside the box here, but maybe the infatuation with coffee shops today and Starbucks's success stems from a desire to connect with people.  It is not the coffee; it is the conversation!  This is a no-brainer; when you live in a senior community, you have dozens of friends to meet for coffee and conversation! You are never alone. No matter where you live, you need the support of family and friends and someone to share a cup of coffee and a little conversation.

“Coffee is a language in itself.” Jackie Chan